One of the highlights of my trip was a gathering at Comfort & Joy where a guy named Coop and a female shaman named Gigi led a workshop called “Faggots and their Fathers”. If you have not noticed from my blog… my life… I have some daddy issues. In fact, I have an art piece I plan on doing that speaks to that.
Well, the workshop got started and I tried to stay on the fringe of the group because I REALLY have issues in this area. 2 years of therapy recently only got me so far. For the first half of the dialog I was a soppy, messy drippy mess and I was trying to hide behind myself the whole time. I could not look at the other participants.
Eventually I calmed down, but I never missed out on anything. I participated with all the exercises and listened to all that was said. One exercise involved us conjuring up some Aztec goddess for help and it involved a strange ceremony that you might think you were getting punked with. It was a meditation and I am pretty down with that anyways, but I think the mutual energy in the room made it much moe powerful.
All in all the class was extremely cathartic and fulfilling… no it was healing. I ended up staying behind after and spend time with Coop and Gigi and they took me a step further. I worked with Gigi on s couple exercises and then she did her shaman thing. I physically felt her pulling something out of me and since then I just feel so different.
I would like to think my demeanor has changed and people would notice it. However, a lot of people here do not know me that well. I’m not sure anyone knows me that well.
It made leaving burning man easier because there was a lot of emotions on this trip. There was a lot of anger. I could not be what someone in my camp wanted or expected. I let their passive-aggressive attacks slide off my back. I never relied on my own expectations because each day out there was it’s own day and I took them one at a time.
I left thinking about that gathering and still focus on the feeling that my chest is more open and a lot of the weight is gone. I hope I found my new light.